You know what’s fucked up? Society teaches us that in order to be loved, we have to seem perfect. That if we follow this invisible checklist of life milestones, we’ll be happy, successful, and worthy of admiration. Graduate by 22, land the dream job, get married by 30, buy a house, have kids, and live happily ever after. And if you don’t? Well, welcome to the existential crisis club.
For years, I felt like I was falling behind. I dropped out of college during my undergrad, and it took me seven years to earn my degree. I didn’t get married until I was 30. I still don’t own a home, and I don’t have kids. Meanwhile, I watched my friends and family checking all the traditional boxes. The weddings, the mortgages, the baby announcements—it felt like everyone had their lives together while I was stuck in a never-ending game of catch-up. And let me tell you, that mindset? It was brutal on my mental health.
The Pressure to “Keep Up” is Ruining Our Mental Health
When we measure our success by society’s timeline, we set ourselves up for disappointment. Because let’s be real—life isn’t a neatly wrapped package with a predictable timeline. It’s messy, unpredictable, and uniquely yours. But the pressure to keep up with everyone else? That’s what leads to stress, anxiety, burnout, and an overwhelming feeling of not enoughness.
Scrolling through social media doesn’t help. You see people your age buying houses, traveling the world, launching businesses, or announcing engagements, and suddenly you’re questioning everything. Am I doing something wrong? Did I waste my time? Why am I not where they are? Spoiler alert: comparison is a liar, and social media is a highlight reel—not reality.
Success is Different for Everyone (And That’s a Good Thing)
So let’s rewrite the script. Success isn’t one-size-fits-all. Maybe for you, success means:
- Prioritizing mental health over hustle culture.
- Healing from trauma and breaking generational cycles.
- Loving your job (even if it doesn’t come with a six-figure salary).
- Finding joy in the little things, like slow mornings and deep conversations.
- Building a community of people who actually get you.
When we fixate on outdated definitions of success, we rob ourselves of the joy of the present moment. We focus so much on what we haven’t accomplished that we forget to appreciate what we have.
Breaking Free From the Timeline Mentality
So how do we break free from this societal pressure? Here are a few things that helped me:
- Question the Narrative – Ask yourself: Is this something I actually want, or is it just what I think I should want?
- Celebrate Non-Traditional Wins – Healing, setting boundaries, personal growth—these are all major accomplishments.
- Step Away from the Comparison Game – Mute, unfollow, or take a break from social media when you need to.
- Create Your Own Definition of Success – One that aligns with your values, not anyone else’s.
- Be Kind to Yourself – Life isn’t a race. You’re not behind. You’re exactly where you need to be.
You Are Not Behind. You Are on Your Path.
If you’ve ever felt like you’re falling behind, take a deep breath. You’re not. There is no universal timeline for success, happiness, or fulfillment. Your path is your own, and the more you embrace it, the more you’ll realize—you were never behind in the first place.
So here’s your permission slip to live life your way. Success isn’t about checking arbitrary boxes—it’s about building a life that actually feels good to you.
And that? That’s worth celebrating. 🥂
Visit us at https://www.novatherapypllc.com to start breaking free!
