by Calien Trevino | Feb 28, 2025 | Anxiety, Complex PTSD, Trauma- and Stressor-Related Disorders
Let’s be real—trauma isn’t just some buzzword. It’s a part of life for many of us, whether it’s from a tough childhood, heartbreak, or experiences we don’t even realize left a mark. And when we don’t deal with it, trauma has this sneaky way of showing up in our relationships. So today, let’s unpack how past trauma might be playing a role in your current connections, what the signs look like, and how you can start to heal and create healthier dynamics with the people you love.
How Trauma Affects Relationships
When we think about relationships, we want them to be about love, trust, and good vibes. But when unhealed trauma enters the picture, things can get messy. Trauma can mess with how we see the world, others, and even ourselves. It can make it tough to trust, open up, or communicate effectively.
For example, if you’ve been hurt by someone who walked out on you, you might fear rejection, leading to clinginess or even pushing people away first. If you’ve experienced betrayal, you might find yourself questioning your partner’s loyalty even when they’ve done nothing wrong. These reactions aren’t about the present—they’re echoes of the past.
The tricky part? Most of this happens on autopilot. You might not even realize your trauma is calling the shots. The good news? Recognizing this is a powerful first step.
Signs of Triggers and PTSD in Relationships
Trauma isn’t one-size-fits-all, but here are some common ways it might show up in your relationship:
- You’re Super Reactive: A small disagreement feels like a huge deal, or you find yourself snapping easily.
- You Avoid Certain Topics: Some things just feel too heavy or risky to talk about.
- Trust Issues: Even when your partner hasn’t given you a reason, you find it hard to believe they’re being honest or loyal.
- Always On Edge: You feel like you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop.
- Low Self-Esteem: You question whether you’re worthy of love or if your partner truly cares about you.
If any of these sound familiar, it might be worth looking inward to see if unhealed trauma is playing a role.
The Pros and Cons of Bringing Trauma Into Relationships
Okay, so here’s the thing—nobody walks into a relationship without some baggage. And honestly? That’s okay. Trauma is just part of being human. But let’s break down how it can affect your relationship, both for better and worse:
The Upsides:
- Deeper Connection: When you’re open about your struggles, it can lead to vulnerability and a closer bond.
- Growth Opportunities: Working through trauma together can actually make your relationship stronger.
- Empathy: People who’ve experienced trauma often have a deeper understanding and compassion for others.
The Downsides:
- Misunderstandings: Trauma can cause you to misinterpret what your partner says or does.
- Emotional Walls: It might be hard to fully open up, even when you want to.
- Conflicts: Triggers can lead to unnecessary arguments or hurt feelings.
The key is acknowledging these dynamics so you can work through them together.
Steps Toward Healing and Building Healthy Dynamics
Healing isn’t an overnight fix—it’s a process. But it’s one that’s absolutely worth it. Here are some steps to get started:
- Spot the Patterns: Start noticing how your past might be influencing your present. A little reflection can go a long way.
- Talk It Out: Share your experiences and triggers with your partner. Being honest helps build understanding and trust.
- Get Professional Help: Therapy is a game-changer. A good therapist can help you process your trauma and develop healthier coping skills. Visit us at https://www.novatherapypllc.com to get started.
- Set Boundaries: Boundaries are about creating a safe space for both you and your partner. They’re not selfish—they’re essential.
- Show Yourself Grace: Healing is messy, and that’s okay. Be patient and kind to yourself along the way.
How Your Partner Can Support Your Healing
A supportive partner can make all the difference. If you’re in a relationship, here’s how your partner can help:
- Just Listen: Sometimes you don’t need advice; you just need to feel heard.
- Be Patient: Healing isn’t a straight line, and it takes time. Patience shows love and commitment.
- Learn About Trauma: Encourage your partner to educate themselves so they can better understand your experience.
- Offer Reassurance: A little encouragement and consistency go a long way in rebuilding trust.
- Respect Boundaries: Whether it’s giving space or avoiding certain triggers, respecting your needs shows care and support.
Moving Forward Together
Here’s the thing: unhealed trauma doesn’t have to define your relationships. With some self-awareness, open communication, and a willingness to grow, you can create connections that are rooted in love, trust, and respect. Healing might feel daunting, but every step forward—no matter how small—is progress.
So, take a moment to reflect. Where are you on your healing journey? And if you’re ready, consider reaching out to a therapist or starting a conversation with your partner. You’ve got this, and brighter, healthier relationships are absolutely within reach.
by Calien Trevino | Jan 17, 2025 | Complex PTSD, Eating Disorder, Mood Disorders, Personality Disorders, Psychotic Disorders, Trauma- and Stressor-Related Disorders
Hey, friends! 🎉 Happy New Year! With 2025 just starting, now’s the perfect time to reset and make some changes – and one of the best things we can do for ourselves is prioritize our mental health. For many of us, though, opening up about mental health can feel like the hardest part. Whether you’re feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or just like you need a change, talking about your mental health with the people you care about can make all the difference.
But let’s be honest – it’s not always easy. We might feel nervous, unsure of what to say, or even worried about how others will react. And that’s totally normal. But here’s the thing: talking about mental health is one of the best things we can do for ourselves and our relationships. It’s time we make it a goal for 2025 to ask for help without shame, be open about what we’re feeling, and start these conversations – even if they feel a little scary.
Why Talking About Mental Health Matters
You might be thinking, “Why is this so important? It’s just my feelings, right?” Well, yes and no. Mental health affects everything – from how we feel about ourselves to how we connect with others. And the more we talk about it, the more we normalize it. Talking about mental health isn’t just about unloading your worries – it’s about getting support and connecting with others who might be feeling the same way. It helps you process your feelings, get advice, and maybe even gain new perspectives. Plus, when you talk about what’s on your mind, it often helps you feel better – even if just for a moment.
Honestly, for me, talking about my mental health with people I trust clears the air. It’s like hitting the reset button for my brain, and suddenly I can breathe again. So, don’t be afraid to put your feelings into words – it’s actually super empowering.
The Risks of Not Talking About Mental Health
Okay, so let’s talk about what happens when we don’t open up. Sometimes, it feels easier to keep things to ourselves, right? Maybe you’re thinking, “I don’t want to burden anyone” or “I’ll handle this on my own.” But here’s the thing: bottling up your feelings can make everything worse.
If we don’t talk about what’s going on inside, it can lead to increased anxiety, stress, and even physical health problems. Keeping it all inside is like holding in a breath you really need to exhale. Over time, it starts to affect you in ways you might not even realize. And let’s not forget – mental health struggles can get bigger if we ignore them. The sooner we talk about our feelings, the sooner we can get the support we need.
Plus, not talking about it can make you feel isolated. You might think no one gets it, but trust me – you’re not alone. So, the next time you’re tempted to keep it all to yourself, think about how much better it could feel to have someone by your side, supporting you.
How to Actually Start the Conversation
I get it – talking about mental health can be awkward at first. But starting the conversation doesn’t have to be complicated. Here are a few tips for easing into it:
- Pick the Right Time and Place
This one’s huge. No one wants to have a heart-to-heart when the house is full of people or when your friend is rushing out the door. Find a quiet, private moment to chat so you both have the space to focus and listen.
- Start Small, Then Dive In
You don’t have to go straight into deep, heavy stuff. It could be as simple as saying, “I’ve been feeling a little off lately, and I just wanted to talk about it.” This gives you the chance to ease into the conversation without feeling overwhelmed.
- Be Clear About What You Need
Let your loved one know what you need from the conversation. Are you looking for advice? Do you just need someone to listen? Being upfront about this can take a lot of pressure off both of you.
What to Do if They’re Uncomfortable or Don’t Know How to Help
Sometimes, the person you’re talking to might not know what to say or how to help. That’s okay! Not everyone is comfortable with talking about mental health, and that doesn’t mean they don’t care. If they seem unsure or a little uncomfortable, here’s what you can do:
- Give Them Time
They might need a moment to process what you’re saying. Be patient. Let them know you’re open to talking whenever they’re ready.
- Educate and Encourage
If your loved one seems confused or unsure about what you’re going through, it’s a great opportunity to share a little more about your experience or educate them about mental health. It’s not about making them experts, but just opening their eyes to what you’re facing.
- Set Boundaries
If the conversation isn’t going as well as you hoped, it’s totally okay to pause and give both of you some space. It doesn’t mean the conversation is over – just that it might need to be revisited later.
Make Talking About Mental Health a Priority This Year
As we move into 2025, let’s make it our goal to prioritize our mental health. This means talking about it more, asking for help without shame, and making space to share our feelings with the people who care about us. It’s a small step, but it’s a powerful one.
You deserve to be heard and supported, and by starting the conversation, you’re not just helping yourself – you’re helping to make mental health something we can all talk about more openly. And that’s how we start creating a culture where we feel safe to be vulnerable and real.
Here’s to a year of better mental health and better conversations. Let’s do this with NT at https://www.novatherapypllc.com!
