by Calien Trevino | May 22, 2025 | Anxiety, Complex PTSD, General, Personality Disorders, Trauma- and Stressor-Related Disorders
The Invisible Weight of Womanhood
Living as a woman in today’s world isn’t just exhausting—it’s psychologically damaging. We carry the trauma of generations who were silenced, dismissed, abused, and expected to smile through it.
We’re told to be soft but not weak, sexy but not sexual, driven but not intimidating. God forbid we actually express rage, grief, or exhaustion—we’re quickly labeled “crazy,” “hormonal,” or “too much.”
But we aren’t crazy. We’re traumatized by expectations that were never made for us to thrive.
When Mental Health Becomes a Political Battlefield
I live in Texas. And as I write this, I do not have full rights over my body. If a man chooses to violate me, the law says I have to carry the aftermath. That’s not just wrong—it’s soul-crushing. It is a mental health crisis disguised as policy.
Being stripped of your autonomy, being told your pain is irrelevant, and your body is not your own? That is trauma. That is fear. That is depression, anxiety, and hopelessness wrapped in law.
And yet, we’re told to be “resilient.”
The System Was Designed to Break Us
We weren’t always allowed to vote. We weren’t always allowed to own property. We were seen as wives, mothers, servants—and that conditioning hasn’t magically disappeared.
We internalize it:
This is how emotional trauma festers. This is how women learn to gaslight themselves before the world even gets the chance.
“You are not too much. You’ve just outgrown their small expectations.”
The Psychological Toll of Gender Roles
Let’s talk about the mental health symptoms no one tells you are linked to gendered trauma:
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People-pleasing that stems from fear of rejection.
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Perfectionism because we were only praised when we were “good.”
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Disordered eating as a way to control how we’re perceived.
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Anxiety masked as “high-functioning.”
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Depression we’re too busy to notice because we’re “strong.”
We are carrying the emotional weight of being everything for everyone—except ourselves.
Toxic Relationships Aren’t Just Breakups—They’re Wounds
Toxic relationships are often the most intimate reenactments of the trauma we were groomed to accept.
They tell us we’re hard to love.
That we’re lucky someone wants us.
That we should settle.
That our boundaries are “too much.”
And when we finally walk away, we’re left with a mess to clean up—alone. The gaslighting. The shattered self-worth. The ache of knowing we believed someone who treated us like we were disposable.
But here’s the truth:
“She rebuilt herself from the ashes of every lie she was told about her worth.”
This Is More Than Self-Care—This Is Revolution
Mental health for women isn’t just about bubble baths and journaling.
It’s about:
Healing is an act of rebellion in a world that profits off our brokenness.
Every time we say no, choose rest, protect our peace, or leave something that doesn’t love us back—we disrupt centuries of control.
You Are Not Alone—And You Are Not the Problem
If you feel burned out, bitter, or broken, please hear me:
You were never meant to carry all of this alone.
You were never meant to be perfect to deserve peace.
You are not “too much.” You’re too awake to keep playing small.
“You are allowed to take up space. You are allowed to be loud. You are allowed to be angry. You are allowed to be free.”
Final Words
This world has tried to shrink us, silence us, and steal our bodies—but it cannot touch our minds unless we surrender them.
So don’t.
Take your time. Take your power. And take back your mental health like your life depends on it—because honestly? It does.
You are not crazy. You are conditioned.
And now, you are unlearning.
Let that be your revolution.
Let’s talk about it in therapy. Visit us at https://www.novatherapypllc.com to get started.
by Calien Trevino | Jan 17, 2025 | Complex PTSD, Eating Disorder, Mood Disorders, Personality Disorders, Psychotic Disorders, Trauma- and Stressor-Related Disorders
Hey, friends! 🎉 Happy New Year! With 2025 just starting, now’s the perfect time to reset and make some changes – and one of the best things we can do for ourselves is prioritize our mental health. For many of us, though, opening up about mental health can feel like the hardest part. Whether you’re feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or just like you need a change, talking about your mental health with the people you care about can make all the difference.
But let’s be honest – it’s not always easy. We might feel nervous, unsure of what to say, or even worried about how others will react. And that’s totally normal. But here’s the thing: talking about mental health is one of the best things we can do for ourselves and our relationships. It’s time we make it a goal for 2025 to ask for help without shame, be open about what we’re feeling, and start these conversations – even if they feel a little scary.
Why Talking About Mental Health Matters
You might be thinking, “Why is this so important? It’s just my feelings, right?” Well, yes and no. Mental health affects everything – from how we feel about ourselves to how we connect with others. And the more we talk about it, the more we normalize it. Talking about mental health isn’t just about unloading your worries – it’s about getting support and connecting with others who might be feeling the same way. It helps you process your feelings, get advice, and maybe even gain new perspectives. Plus, when you talk about what’s on your mind, it often helps you feel better – even if just for a moment.
Honestly, for me, talking about my mental health with people I trust clears the air. It’s like hitting the reset button for my brain, and suddenly I can breathe again. So, don’t be afraid to put your feelings into words – it’s actually super empowering.
The Risks of Not Talking About Mental Health
Okay, so let’s talk about what happens when we don’t open up. Sometimes, it feels easier to keep things to ourselves, right? Maybe you’re thinking, “I don’t want to burden anyone” or “I’ll handle this on my own.” But here’s the thing: bottling up your feelings can make everything worse.
If we don’t talk about what’s going on inside, it can lead to increased anxiety, stress, and even physical health problems. Keeping it all inside is like holding in a breath you really need to exhale. Over time, it starts to affect you in ways you might not even realize. And let’s not forget – mental health struggles can get bigger if we ignore them. The sooner we talk about our feelings, the sooner we can get the support we need.
Plus, not talking about it can make you feel isolated. You might think no one gets it, but trust me – you’re not alone. So, the next time you’re tempted to keep it all to yourself, think about how much better it could feel to have someone by your side, supporting you.
How to Actually Start the Conversation
I get it – talking about mental health can be awkward at first. But starting the conversation doesn’t have to be complicated. Here are a few tips for easing into it:
- Pick the Right Time and Place
This one’s huge. No one wants to have a heart-to-heart when the house is full of people or when your friend is rushing out the door. Find a quiet, private moment to chat so you both have the space to focus and listen.
- Start Small, Then Dive In
You don’t have to go straight into deep, heavy stuff. It could be as simple as saying, “I’ve been feeling a little off lately, and I just wanted to talk about it.” This gives you the chance to ease into the conversation without feeling overwhelmed.
- Be Clear About What You Need
Let your loved one know what you need from the conversation. Are you looking for advice? Do you just need someone to listen? Being upfront about this can take a lot of pressure off both of you.
What to Do if They’re Uncomfortable or Don’t Know How to Help
Sometimes, the person you’re talking to might not know what to say or how to help. That’s okay! Not everyone is comfortable with talking about mental health, and that doesn’t mean they don’t care. If they seem unsure or a little uncomfortable, here’s what you can do:
- Give Them Time
They might need a moment to process what you’re saying. Be patient. Let them know you’re open to talking whenever they’re ready.
- Educate and Encourage
If your loved one seems confused or unsure about what you’re going through, it’s a great opportunity to share a little more about your experience or educate them about mental health. It’s not about making them experts, but just opening their eyes to what you’re facing.
- Set Boundaries
If the conversation isn’t going as well as you hoped, it’s totally okay to pause and give both of you some space. It doesn’t mean the conversation is over – just that it might need to be revisited later.
Make Talking About Mental Health a Priority This Year
As we move into 2025, let’s make it our goal to prioritize our mental health. This means talking about it more, asking for help without shame, and making space to share our feelings with the people who care about us. It’s a small step, but it’s a powerful one.
You deserve to be heard and supported, and by starting the conversation, you’re not just helping yourself – you’re helping to make mental health something we can all talk about more openly. And that’s how we start creating a culture where we feel safe to be vulnerable and real.
Here’s to a year of better mental health and better conversations. Let’s do this with NT at https://www.novatherapypllc.com!
by Calien Trevino | Jan 10, 2025 | Anxiety, General, Personality Disorders, Trauma- and Stressor-Related Disorders
Hey friends! Today we’re talking about something super relevant as we begin a new year: self-acceptance and the pressure to be perfect.
Let’s be real: this time of year can be a lot. We’re all looking back at what we’ve achieved, what didn’t quite go as planned, and setting our sights on what we want in the next 12 months. It’s motivating but also, let’s face it, a bit overwhelming. Why do we always feel like we need to chase this idea of “perfect”? Spoiler alert: perfection isn’t real, and constantly striving for it can totally suck the joy out of life.
So, in today’s blog post, we’re breaking down how perfectionism messes with our mental health, how to ditch those unrealistic expectations, and how to set goals that actually support your well-being in the new year.
The Weight of Perfectionism
Okay, let’s get real: perfectionism is exhausting. It’s that voice in your head that says, “If it’s not perfect, it’s not worth it.” Or worse, “People will think less of you if you mess up.” Sound familiar? Same here.
Here’s the deal: perfectionism might look like ambition on the surface, but it’s not about doing your best—it’s about tying your worth to the outcome. When we tie our value to achieving impossible standards, we’re left feeling like we’re never good enough, no matter how hard we try. Not only is it draining, but it can also fuel anxiety, depression, and burnout.
Perfectionism has deep roots. For some, it starts in childhood, maybe when achievements were praised and love seemed tied to success. For others, it’s society’s message that we need to have it all together. Or maybe it’s just a way to feel in control when life feels chaotic. Whatever the cause, recognizing the pattern is the first step toward letting go of it.
Embracing Imperfection
So, what can we do about it? It’s time to make a major mindset shift. Instead of striving for perfection, let’s focus on progress. Let’s be kinder to ourselves and embrace the reality that being human means being imperfect.
Here are some practical ways to make that happen:
- Be your own hype person: When you mess up, talk to yourself like you would your best friend. Say, “It’s okay. I’m learning.” Cut out the self-criticism and replace it with kindness. Trust me, it works.
- Stop the all-or-nothing spiral: Perfectionism loves to say, “If I can’t do it perfectly, why bother?” Instead, take small steps and celebrate those wins—no matter how small. Progress is progress!
- Celebrate your wins: Whether you made it through the week or just took one step forward, give yourself some credit. Even the little things matter.
- Reframe failure: Instead of seeing failure as something to fear, view it as feedback. It’s not the end of the road—it’s just part of the journey.
- Set chill goals: Break big goals into smaller, more manageable pieces. This way, you won’t feel overwhelmed, and you can actually enjoy the progress you’re making.
New Year, New Mindset
Ah, New Year’s resolutions. It’s that time of year where we’re all about setting goals. But this year, let’s make those resolutions not just about achievements but about our well-being. Think mental, physical, and emotional wellness. Here are a few of my personal goals for the new year:
- Be more present: I’m cutting back on social media so I can really enjoy quality time with myself and my husband. Less scrolling, more connection.
- Take better care of myself: I’m committing to working out five times a week and drinking more water. It’s about feeling good, not just looking good.
- Read more: I’m aiming for two books a month. Reading is a huge stress-reliever and a great way to open up new perspectives.
- Date nights: Two date nights a month with my husband are non-negotiable. Whether it’s a fancy dinner or a chill night at home, these moments matter.
What about you? Here are some ideas for wellness-focused resolutions:
- Mental health: Start journaling, meditate, or maybe book that therapy session you’ve been putting off. Visit us at https://www.novatherapypllc.com to get started!
- Physical health: Focus on how you want to feel rather than how you want to look. Maybe it’s dancing, hiking, or just moving more.
- Emotional health: Work on letting go of grudges or being kinder to yourself.
- Relationships: Whether it’s setting boundaries or spending more time with loved ones, make connection a priority.
Remember: it’s not about perfection. It’s about progress. Let’s make this year about feeling good, showing kindness to ourselves, and embracing all the imperfect moments.
A Kinder Year Ahead
So, as we close, here’s the main takeaway: self-acceptance is the greatest gift you can give yourself. Let go of the pressure to be perfect, and you’ll unlock more joy, growth, and real connection in the year ahead.
Let’s step into this new year with a little more kindness for ourselves and others. Set goals that make you feel good, embrace your imperfections, and celebrate the journey.
That’s it for today’s post! If this resonated with you, share it with a friend who could use some encouragement. And hey, let’s keep the conversation going on social media—just, you know, not too much. 😉
Take care of yourself, and remember, you’re enough just as you are.
by Calien Trevino | Jun 26, 2024 | Anxiety, Personality Disorders
Hey there, pals! 🌟
Navigating the rollercoaster of emotions in today’s fast-paced world can be overwhelming. Whether you’re juggling careers, relationships, or just trying to keep up with the latest TikTok trends, it’s easy to feel like you’re constantly running on empty. Enter Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) – a game-changer in the world of mental health. Let’s dive into why DBT might just be the toolkit you never knew you needed.
What is DBT?
First things first, what exactly is DBT? Developed by psychologist Marsha Linehan, DBT is a type of cognitive-behavioral therapy designed to help individuals manage intense emotions and build healthier relationships. It’s particularly effective for those struggling with mood disorders, self-harm, and suicidal ideation, but its benefits extend far beyond these areas.
1. Emotional Regulation: Master Your Feelings
Are you often dubbed “anxious?” Between student loans, career pressures, and social media comparisons, it’s no wonder our stress levels are through the roof. DBT teaches you how to regulate your emotions effectively. Through skills like mindfulness and distress tolerance, you learn to identify, understand, and manage your feelings without letting them take over your life.
2. Mindfulness: Stay Present in the Moment
In a world full of distractions, staying present can be a real challenge. DBT incorporates mindfulness techniques that help you focus on the here and now. By practicing mindfulness, you can reduce anxiety, improve concentration, and enhance your overall well-being. Plus, it’s a great way to take a break from the constant digital bombardment we face daily.
3. Interpersonal Effectiveness: Build Stronger Relationships
Healthy relationships are crucial for our mental health, yet they can be incredibly challenging to maintain. DBT provides practical tools for improving communication, setting boundaries, and resolving conflicts. Whether it’s with a partner, family member, or friend, these skills can help you build and sustain meaningful connections.
4. Distress Tolerance: Weather the Storms
Life is unpredictable, and sometimes, things don’t go as planned. DBT’s distress tolerance skills equip you with strategies to cope with crises without resorting to harmful behaviors. By learning how to tolerate and survive distressing situations, you become more resilient and better prepared to handle whatever life throws your way.
5. Self-Compassion: Be Kind to Yourself
In the age of social media, it’s easy to fall into the trap of self-criticism and comparison. DBT encourages self-compassion, teaching you to treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer a friend. This shift in mindset can lead to improved self-esteem and a more positive outlook on life.
6. Empowerment: Take Control of Your Life
Ultimately, DBT is about empowerment. It gives you the tools and skills to take control of your mental health and well-being. By actively participating in your therapy and applying what you learn, you can make meaningful changes in your life and become the best version of yourself.
Ready to Give DBT a Try?
If you’re intrigued by the benefits of DBT and think it might be a good fit for you, consider reaching out to a mental health professional trained in DBT. Our therapists offer DBT-based group sessions, individual therapy, and online resources to help you get started.
Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Embrace the journey to emotional well-being with DBT – because you deserve to live a life that feels good on the inside, not just one that looks good on the outside. 🌱✨
Stay mindful, stay present, and most importantly, be kind to yourself.
